What was I thinking?

I was drinking an ice cold Blatz with my friend Skunky. I think we were talking about the twists and turns life takes and how you're a damn fool if you think your life is going to proceed as planned. I said that when I was younger, I'd wanted to join the PC but hadn't, because I stayed to live with and eventually marry my ex.

Skunky turns to me, "You know, you can join the PC now." In my memory the moment becomes instantly bright, like a big spotlight got turned on over our heads...and here I am. Skunky, meanwhile, has already spent a year in Swaziland.


I think it's probably wise to write down why I'm going now, so that when I freak out later I'll have this to refer to.


1. It was time to leave my old job--despite the generosity of mission, impact, salary/benefits, challenge, support--because, right now, I need less time around the powerful and the privileged and more with the real people so many programs are developed to support, with the poor, old, and vulnerable. 


2. I am healthy, childless, homeless, dogless, debtless. It's crazy, right? Who could plan that?

4. Uh, a snorkel was in the suggested items I bring with me. Which means beaches, which means heat and sun and sand. A Central Ohioan's day dream.


5. There's no time like the present to become disentangled from my definition of myself. I want to do things that are really fun or really important.

What will I cry over when I'm gone? Probably not a Blatz. More likely it will be for:


1. The moments of purity I'll be missing in my nephews and niece's childhood, watching the evening news with my parents, euchre with my sisters, brother and lucky in-laws.

2. The kindest man I ever met, who over the past couple of years has shared so many really fun times with me I can't stand it.


3. Kickball! And the commissioner of kickball especially! And all of the weird nerds I've met in cbus.

4. My kind, strong, competitive, funny, smart (and smart ass) colleagues working to provide the bedrock of a civil society and the fuel for social justice.


4. Not being noticed, air conditioning in bedrooms, massive spinach salads, steady electricity? I have no idea.

Onward!